It seems by almost anyone’s standards, we are a small church. And though our congregation has a warm, family feel, and we all enjoy our times of worship together, I have had times over the years when I have really struggled with the fact that we are still small. My thinking was, “If I could only figure out the right things to say, or learn how to love people the way that Jesus does, then we would grow.” Right?
As your pastor and friend, I have occasionally taken the full weight of those accusations on my shoulders, even though it is never comfortable living with self doubt and blame . . . thinking that if only I would do something more or do something better — knock on doors, have a sunnier disposition, sponsor more neighborhood events, then MAYBE, just maybe we should start to grow at a faster rate. But then, that sort of thinking seems so futile.
My first epiphany concerning our size came when I realized the fact that if several of our members were missing for a week, I would immediately blame myself. But when it happened that we were blessed to have five or sex more attend one of our services, I was quick to thank God for the increase . . . which got me thinking, “Isn’t God the One responsible for the outcome here, good OR bad?”
For my first ten years, I kept thinking that I would walk in one Sunday and there would be a new face in the congregation - one that would soon prove to be our next pastor. And while on the one hand, I would love to see our church have a more qualified and truly personable leader and teacher, I know that I would also miss the long hours of meditating on God’s Word, as well as the seasons of pastoral strain and turmoil. Yet in my heart, I am even now ready and willing to support the individual God chooses to be our next shepherd!
Recently I’ve been thinking of how some pastors seem to be called to preach to tens, others to hundreds, and still others to thousands. And while it seems that the difficulty would increase exponentially with the additional souls, pastors of large churches also have the privilege of being able to delegate responsibilities to others trained in specialty roles: deacons, committee members, youth leaders, clerical staff, maintenance, and even housekeeping personnel.
Yet the pastor of a small church needs to wear many hats, as well as work gloves and boots and even coveralls from time to time. That is to say, my days are rarely uneventful.
As I close out this month’s letter, I have to mention how just yesterday, at the end of the service, a dear friends stood up from the congregation and handed me a packet of envelopes that turned out to be pastor appreciation cards and letters. Now I have received cards in October before, but the sheer volume — and all the kind words — and the monetary gifts this time were absolutely overwhelming!
It reminds me again of how I am so blessed to live and work among such good Christian people. It is obvious that you all have a much higher estimation of me than I do myself. So, with God’s help, I will do my very best to become the pastor and friend that you apparently think that I am. I have been richly blessed.
Thank you all so very much. And most of all, thank You Jesus!